Happy Turkey Day

Wishing you and yours a Thanksgiving full of moments to be thankful for and fun! Happy Thanksgiving!

Courtney

Update Assessments

I have had the great pleasure over the past month to complete 3 update assessments. Two of the three families have been in the RDI program for 1 year and 1 for 6 months. As I watched the families During RDA 1, worked with the child during RDA 2 and then coached the family through RDA 3 I was so pleased and amazed at all of the progress that had been made over the past 6 months to 1 year.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the time I have spent with these families and I am so pleased with what I am seeing. It is living breathing proof that this program is the best!

I have also just started the process with a two other families over the past few weeks. The families are just beginning with parent readiness, but have completed their baseline appointments. I find this baseline appointment so invaluable because it will be really great in a year to reflect back on where we started from. I am also really excited to work with these two children and their families as I see so much potential.

I have several more update assessments ahead in the next few months and I am really looking forward to seeing the growth that these clients have made as well.

Talk to you soon,
Erin

Compensations

The topic of compensations seemed to be a real popular one last week, so I stopped to realize how I overcompensate for my children. The times I find that I overcompensate the most for my girls is when I'm in a hurry, tired or just "not in the mood" to slow down and guide. What a gift I am stealing from my girls when I'm not at my best (another reason to keep the pacing of our lives slow). Wednesday nights are always busy for me as I work all day and by the time I get home it's after 6 - they go to bed at 8. My husband works late these nights, so I single parent it and just plow through the evening to get it all done. Here are ten (of I'm afraid of many more) ways that I've overcompensated tonight alone:
1. I helped my 4 year old get undressed for the bath (because it'd be quicker and I didn't have to fight it)
2. I tied my 4 year olds' seat belt because I just wanted to get home and didn't feel like waiting for her to get it done.
3. I let my 2 year old sit on my lap at the end of dinner to encourage her eating along (shoving the food in her mouth on my own) so we could get out of Wendy's and get home!
4. I brought my girls out for fast food because I didn't feel like arguing when they asked and it was much more simple than having to figure out what I could whip together when I got home.
5. I brought their clothes to laundry room once they were undressed instead of waiting to give them the opportunity to do that on their own.
6. When my 4 year old brought our trash on the tray to the trash can at Wendy's, instead of letting her figure out how to get the trash in herself, I quickly said "oh, don't throw the tray in too!" She of course was like "I know that mom!" I did let her figure out how to get the trash on the tray over to the trash can and even started dumping the trash without dropping anything before I stepped in - I guess that was one too many steps for my comfort level! She did a fantastic job in spite of me!
7. Instead of having them put their clean clothes away, I just quickly did it - again to keep the night rolling.
8. I carried all the stuff in from the car instead of giving them the opportunity to notice something of theirs is missing and then not get it tonight in order to discover that if they want their stuff from the car, they better get it when they are coming in.
9. I put their shoes away for them.
10. I went and got the mail instead of giving them the opportunity to do that with me.

Many days I try to give them opportunities to join in with what I'm doing or try to accomplish a task on their own. It's amazing how each hour holds so many possibilities for learning opportunities and how when we overcompensate we are robbing them of these opportunities for growth. It's nights like tonight when things are busy and I'm tired that the overcompensations over flow. Remember though that pushing them too much is also hurtful in that they are unable to learn when the expectations are too high. There's a perfect amount of support that will guide our children to learning at their best.

When do you find that you overcompensate the most and how do you overcompensate?

Have a great week! Michelle

Traffic Confusion

On my way home from school this afternoon, I experienced a new traffic issue which I have never experienced before. On M-37 (an interstate like road here in West Michigan), the traffic lights at one of the busiest intersections were not working properly. The red and yellow lights would come on when appropriate; however, when it was time for the lights to turn green, they would shut off completely. Needless to say, traffic was backed up for miles! As I sat there observing everyone's reactions to the light, I thought to myself that this is a great example of how we use appraisal and creative thinking/problem solving in our lives. Fellow drivers were appraising the situation as I was to figure out what was going on and where they needed to focus their attention. I saw people using creative thinking/problem solving skills by turning around, waiting their turns, etc. and I of course also saw those individuals who were not using these skills very effectively and creating more traffic problems instead. It was an interesting moment to sit back and watch how effectively most of us use these skills without even noticing it. I think this is a great example of how dynamic our world truly is and why it is so important for us to work on remediation in these areas with our children on the spectrum.

Drive safely...

Courtney

Compensation

I was in a meeting with a parent at school the other day and we were talking about her child and how he was doing at school and home. The more the mom talked the more I was thinking about how much compensation she does for her child every day it makes sense why he does "so well" within the home setting.

Compensation can be helpful and important at times, but in general what is accomplished with compensation? By always compensating for our children just to keep them happy and things on an even keel what is that doing to help our children reach a quality of life? When we use compensation are we helping our child build life-long relationships, think flexibly and become a problem solver?

Having said all of this please take a moment over the next few days to think to yourself about whether you are compensating or guiding your own child.

Talk to you soon,
Erin

The Importance of Structure

Today, my students and classroom staff returned to school after a week off. I was very pleased to see the smiles on my students' faces as they walked in the classroom this morning. They were all so happy to be back. As the day progressed, I noticed how important structure is in the lives of special needs children. My students were craving the consistency and routine of our classroom, even when they are faced with gentle challenges each day. I sometimes take for granted the structure and routine that I have established in my life and in my classroom, but today I realized how hard it is for my students to do that when they are not in school. They have a difficult time planning their day and planning ahead, which can lead to anxiety and frustration. They need guidance and support from adult guides in order to do this. Please keep this in mind as the holiday breaks approach.

Until next week...

Courtney

Healthy Lifestyles

I was reading this quote last night and thought about how it relates to keeping a healthy lifestyle.

If our children are to approve of themselves, they must see that we approve of ourselves.

- Maya Angelou

In the line of work that we do it is not uncommon for us to come across parents who struggle with depression. This is something I think about on occasion and feel that the above quote speaks to this difficulty. When parents are struggling with something like depression it is hard to hide it and often times come across as us not approving of ourselves this is reflected in how our children feel about themselves.

For those of you out there that do suffer from depression I encourage you to seek ways to deal with it. Find a way to restore that healthy balance and find your approval of yourself again. For some of you it might be making time to see a counselor or psychologist, for some a course of medication can help. For others it might be finding that one thing that you do for yourself such as yoga, a date night, a night out with friends, a hot bath, etc.

Whatever works for you to find that balance and approval so that your child can approve of themselves.

Talk to you soon,

Erin