Friday, December 18, 2009
Mad Libs Decorating the Tree By: Jonathan & Phillip
Many people decorate their Christmas party on Christmas Eve. Last year, Phillip had a playing party and everyone helped color the tree. Jonathan brought tinsel and games. And Tracy brought lots of fresh snow cakes and candy cookies to put on the tree. The most important decoration, of course, is the string of colored electric lights. (Jonathan) A few dozen blinking lights make any tree look pretty. And most stores sell round, sparkly buttons and little climbing balls to hang on the branches. But the hardest decoration to pick is the one that goes right on top. Once that angel is up, you know that the high season has officially started. Of course, if you are too full to have a tree for Christmas, you can decorate your truck or hang buses on your barn. Then the neighbors will say, "Beautiful!" (Phillip)
Friday, December 4, 2009
Crystals
Day 1: We put in pieces of sponge, and sprinkled salt on the sponge and water and blue stuff.
Day 2: We had to put 2 tablespoons of salt on the sponge. Phillip had a big flower on one of his and a baby one. Jonathan saw the salt turn blue after sprinkling it on.
Day 3: Jonathan - Put more salt, water, more blue, more green and yellow on top. We saw crystals growing. More, more, more!
Phillip - Today they bloomed alot. We added salt and food coloring, blue and "reakie" stuff.
By Phillip and Jonathan
Raising Responsible and Respectable Children
Raising Responsible and Respectable Children
By: Michelle VanderHeide, BSW
If anybody says that parenting is easy, they must not have kids! As a parent of three wonderful children, I have found that each one needs to be parented differently. One child needs to be held often, one needs opportunities to talk, and the other thrives on quality time. One is strong willed, another is a people pleaser, and the other is just busy! I’ve read many books, listened to several books on tape, and watched my fair share of DVD’s about different approaches to parenting; but a few things consistently resurface as important strategies when raising responsible and respectable children. These strategies work, because they’re not about the children, they’re about you – the parent. The first thing to do is write down the areas that you want to work on with your child. Speaking disrespectfully, hitting, potty training, walking off while you are talking, and homework issues are just a few of the problem areas you may be facing. Pick one thing to work on at a time, so as not to overwhelm yourself. I’ll use resistance to come in from outside as an example for this article. Once you’ve picked your battle, put your boxing gloves on and follow the guidelines below.
Remain Calm: One of the easiest parenting mistakes is allowing yourself to get upset. Once you are angry, you have given your child control and now need a parent to calm you down. The best way to have control is to remain calm; so take a deep breath, take a timeout for yourself if needed, then return to your child and talk calmly and respectfully to him/her – when you are both ready. Show your child that s/he deserves that respect. Demonstration is an important parenting tool; so if you scream at your child, chances are s/he’ll scream back. If you treat him/her with respect, that respect will be returned. Get down on your child’s level, or take seats next to each other to talk about the issue at hand.
Determine the Consequence: Each problem you face with your child(ren) will require different consequences. While you are calm, determine what an appropriate consequence will be for the problem area you are facing. Make sure the consequence is understandable to the child, that you are able to follow through on the consequence, and that the child will want to avoid that consequence. If you child is refusing to come in from outside “If you don’t come in right now, you can’t play outside for the rest of the week.” It sounds like a horrible threat; but is that one that you really want to follow through on? Instead, find a consequence that is easy to live with. “I’m going to go inside and set a timer for two minutes. If you are not inside by the time the timer goes off, you will not be able to play outside the rest of the evening.” The timer will put a specific amount of time that s/he has to respond and will hold you accountable for following through on your consequence.
Offer a Choice: By giving your child a choice, s/he is taking the responsibility for the discipline received.
“If you come inside in the next two minutes, you will have time to come back outside and play with your friends. If you choose not to come inside by the time the two minute timer goes off, you will not get to go back outside.”
Use the if/then sequence with all of the choices you give so that the consequences are well understood. Children learn the if/then series very early on in life, so this works for very young children as well as older children. For a younger child, for example, might work better with “inside, then snack.”
Consistency: You must stick with the above plan over time, or else it will not work. Does your child know that you will follow through on the consequence? If there a chance that you won’t, then it might be worth not doing what mom or dad is asking. All of the above points are invalid and ineffective if consistency with follow through is absent. If necessary, find another person to hold you accountable to ensure follow through of consequences.
Once children learn that you mean what you say, you will begin to earn more respect; and you will notice your child(ren) becoming more responsible. Just be prepared that it might get worse before it gets better. Children will push the limits until they know where the line has been drawn. So remember: Calm, Consequence, Choice, Consistency. The reward will be worth the effort!
By: Michelle VanderHeide, BSW
If anybody says that parenting is easy, they must not have kids! As a parent of three wonderful children, I have found that each one needs to be parented differently. One child needs to be held often, one needs opportunities to talk, and the other thrives on quality time. One is strong willed, another is a people pleaser, and the other is just busy! I’ve read many books, listened to several books on tape, and watched my fair share of DVD’s about different approaches to parenting; but a few things consistently resurface as important strategies when raising responsible and respectable children. These strategies work, because they’re not about the children, they’re about you – the parent. The first thing to do is write down the areas that you want to work on with your child. Speaking disrespectfully, hitting, potty training, walking off while you are talking, and homework issues are just a few of the problem areas you may be facing. Pick one thing to work on at a time, so as not to overwhelm yourself. I’ll use resistance to come in from outside as an example for this article. Once you’ve picked your battle, put your boxing gloves on and follow the guidelines below.
Remain Calm: One of the easiest parenting mistakes is allowing yourself to get upset. Once you are angry, you have given your child control and now need a parent to calm you down. The best way to have control is to remain calm; so take a deep breath, take a timeout for yourself if needed, then return to your child and talk calmly and respectfully to him/her – when you are both ready. Show your child that s/he deserves that respect. Demonstration is an important parenting tool; so if you scream at your child, chances are s/he’ll scream back. If you treat him/her with respect, that respect will be returned. Get down on your child’s level, or take seats next to each other to talk about the issue at hand.
Determine the Consequence: Each problem you face with your child(ren) will require different consequences. While you are calm, determine what an appropriate consequence will be for the problem area you are facing. Make sure the consequence is understandable to the child, that you are able to follow through on the consequence, and that the child will want to avoid that consequence. If you child is refusing to come in from outside “If you don’t come in right now, you can’t play outside for the rest of the week.” It sounds like a horrible threat; but is that one that you really want to follow through on? Instead, find a consequence that is easy to live with. “I’m going to go inside and set a timer for two minutes. If you are not inside by the time the timer goes off, you will not be able to play outside the rest of the evening.” The timer will put a specific amount of time that s/he has to respond and will hold you accountable for following through on your consequence.
Offer a Choice: By giving your child a choice, s/he is taking the responsibility for the discipline received.
“If you come inside in the next two minutes, you will have time to come back outside and play with your friends. If you choose not to come inside by the time the two minute timer goes off, you will not get to go back outside.”
Use the if/then sequence with all of the choices you give so that the consequences are well understood. Children learn the if/then series very early on in life, so this works for very young children as well as older children. For a younger child, for example, might work better with “inside, then snack.”
Consistency: You must stick with the above plan over time, or else it will not work. Does your child know that you will follow through on the consequence? If there a chance that you won’t, then it might be worth not doing what mom or dad is asking. All of the above points are invalid and ineffective if consistency with follow through is absent. If necessary, find another person to hold you accountable to ensure follow through of consequences.
Once children learn that you mean what you say, you will begin to earn more respect; and you will notice your child(ren) becoming more responsible. Just be prepared that it might get worse before it gets better. Children will push the limits until they know where the line has been drawn. So remember: Calm, Consequence, Choice, Consistency. The reward will be worth the effort!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Phillip, Jonathan, and Tracy Made a Pie
Phillip thought we could make a pumpkin pie. We made the pie using tapioca and cinnamon. Miss Courtney thought the pie would be spicy but Phillip did not. This pie was special since it had no crust. When we put the pie in the oven it was in the shape of a circle. When Phillip ate his piece of pie it was in the shape of a triangle and it was squishy. The pie was brown. Phillip thought the pie was yummy! It tasted mushy and wet. We ate the pie quietly. The end.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Happy Birthday to You! How to Celebrate Your Child’s Special Day Appropriately
Happy Birthday to You! How to Celebrate Your Child’s Special Day Appropriately
By: Courtney Kowalczyk, M.Ed.
Over the past few months, a few of my clients have asked “how should we celebrate our child’s birthday, taking into consideration his or her special needs.” This is an important question on many levels, since we all want to celebrate special occasions with family; however, this can sometimes be too much for many of our children with special needs. Here are a few ideas and strategies to use so that you can celebrate your child’s birthday without making the event too overwhelming for the child and yourself!
Celebrating your child’s special day can be a fun and anxiety-free experience. By keeping the environment calm and using a minimalist perspective, you may find that you and your child both can enjoy the occasion. Happy birthday party planning to you!!!!!
By: Courtney Kowalczyk, M.Ed.
Over the past few months, a few of my clients have asked “how should we celebrate our child’s birthday, taking into consideration his or her special needs.” This is an important question on many levels, since we all want to celebrate special occasions with family; however, this can sometimes be too much for many of our children with special needs. Here are a few ideas and strategies to use so that you can celebrate your child’s birthday without making the event too overwhelming for the child and yourself!
- Limit the guest list! All too often, we find ourselves inviting to birthday parties family members whom we generally don’t see very often. Even though it may be uncomfortable for you not to invite them, think about how overwhelmed your child may feel if there are several people around whom he or she may not know. If you feel the need to invite all of your family and friends, then split the party up into a couple of different occasions. By limiting the number of guests, you can help to reduce the anxiety and fear of uncertainty that your child may be facing.
- Keep it simple! When we begin to plan a child’s birthday, it is easy for us to get carried away with the games, food, treat bags, gifts, and many other things that go into having a birthday party. All of these things are wonderful; but for children who have a difficult time processing information effectively, these elements of a birthday party can be overwhelming. By simplifying things and keeping the party elements to a minimum, you can help to reduce your child’s anxiety and allow him or her to enjoy the party more thoroughly.
- Be selective when choosing a party time. As you think about when to hold your party, keep in mind your child’s best time(s) of the day. Most children are more refreshed, relaxed, and less anxious overall in the morning after a good night’s rest. We don’t hear about parties being held in the morning that often; but for many children with special needs, this is their best time of the day. If you are going to have the party on a week night, then be sure to hold it after the dinner hour. This provides the child with an opportunity for some down time in between school and the party, and it allows them to have a healthy dinner to re-charge their batteries.
- Decorate with the minimalist perspective. Balloons, streamers, tissue paper, and many other fun decorations are often used for parties. These types of decorations are not a problem for most individuals, but children with disabilities can become overwhelmed very easily. When having a party, there are already many factors that will contribute to his or her feelings of anxiety, especially changes to the environment. Keeping decorations to a minimum will help reduce the overwhelming feeling and anxiety that many children feel at parties.
Celebrating your child’s special day can be a fun and anxiety-free experience. By keeping the environment calm and using a minimalist perspective, you may find that you and your child both can enjoy the occasion. Happy birthday party planning to you!!!!!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Five Tips for Parents Making School-Related Decisions
Five Tips for Parents Making School-Related Decisions
By: Nicole Beurkens, M.Ed.
School-related decisions seem to be an ever-present issue for all families, but especially for families with a child with unique learning needs. Here are some tips I find myself frequently providing parents in regards to their child’s education:
By: Nicole Beurkens, M.Ed.
School-related decisions seem to be an ever-present issue for all families, but especially for families with a child with unique learning needs. Here are some tips I find myself frequently providing parents in regards to their child’s education:
- Just because a service or option is available doesn’t mean you have to take it. Go with your gut feeling and do what you believe is right for your child. If you don’t think the speech sessions are helping then stop them. If you don’t want the weekly home visit from the early intervention specialist then don’t do them. If you think your child needs to be home with you rather than at school for some of all of the day, then do it. Do not allow what “other people” say or do to steer you in the wrong direction with your child. Do not allow “the professionals” to over-ride your own good judgment about what your child needs. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain or make a different choice in the best interest of your child and family.
- Don’t hem and haw over the next 15 years of your child’s school career when you only need to be making a decision about what to do for right now. I have met with too many parents who are paralyzed at the thought of pursuing something different from the status quo because they wonder what the ramifications will be 10 years down the road. Schools make decisions about placement and services one year at a time based on the current needs of the child and parents should do the same. You may feel that something is important for your child right now, and feel completely different about it a year from now. None of us can predict the future with certainty – no matter how hard we try! What is important is making the right decision for this point in time, and re-evaluating as you go along.
- Do not buy into the idea that there is a certain place out there that is a perfect fit and if you just keep searching long enough you will find it. No setting is perfect and there will be flaws and problems that crop up wherever you go. What is important is finding the right people who are willing to customize things to work for the best interest of each child – people who will bring you as parents in as part of the team and will work with you to ensure progress.
- Don’t get hung up on labels! I couldn’t care less what a certain classroom is called as long as the people are invested in setting high standards and helping each child reach his or her potential. Very often programs have the names they have for the purpose of paperwork and reporting – nothing more. Visit lots of places – meet the staff and watch them in action; get a feel for the environment; watch the other students. Those are the critical elements in determining whether a classroom is a good fit for your child – not whether the name of the classroom matches the label of the child.
- Finally, keep the developmental level of your child and the amount in mind when making educational decisions. There is tremendous pressure to put children, particularly those with autism, into formal educational settings earlier and earlier, but that may not be the best decision for your child. If you know your child is not ready for a classroom-based program then don’t send them. There is a tremendous amount to be gained from allowing children to benefit from the guidance of their parents during the early stages of development – and that process can take longer in children with unique learning needs. The same goes for children who experience significant amounts of stress in school. Parents must carefully weigh the potential benefits of a school environment against the amount of stress that is caused and the detrimental impact of that stress over time. Each of us as parents needs to take a good hard look at our child and decide if they are ready to enter a school setting for some or all of the day, or if they need more time to be truly successful and derive benefit from that environment. Again, don’t be afraid to make a different choice; to say “thanks, but not now” to school-based options if your child is not ready.
Maybe some of these things touch on issues you have been thinking about in relation to your child’s education. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box and do what is right for your child at this point in time. You are your child’s best advocate and are in the best position to make decisions regarding your child’s education – don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
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